July 11, 2011

Tomorrow my baby turns 5. He’ll still have his adorable animated smile, I’ll still be able to carry him when he’s tired, and he’ll still ask me to sing him a song before going to sleep. But his baby years will melt into boyhood. My heart will soon want to return to the time when I was the most important person in the world to him. When he would tell me I was the most beautifullest girl ever. Yes, he told me that not long ago and I wrote it down so I’d never forget.

We weren’t sure we would (or should) have a third baby. Our older two were born a little early. Not terribly early, just 5 weeks with the first, 6 weeks with the second. Chris was afraid the third would come much sooner. I thought everything would be fine – it’s the way I am. I thought, I’ll take it extra easy this time. It will be fine.

I went into labor 14 weeks early.

I was put on bedrest and learned how to inject myself with a constant drip of medication that never did stop the contractions but made them much less effective. For 12 weeks I held on, with a 5 and 7 year old home for the summer. We had to hire a nanny, which we were not financially prepared to do. But we did, and I held on.

Cole was born only 2 weeks early. The strongest of the 3 boys. He was the only one I was able to come home from the hospital with – the other two were held back in the NICU. We were so lucky, and I count my blessings every day.

It seems like a lifetime ago, because I honestly can’t imagine life without him. But at the same time, it seems incredulous to me that he’s turning 5 already. He’ll start Kindergarten in just a month from now. And my heart will break into millions of tiny pieces. I’ll miss that one-on-one time with him. More than even I can imagine right now.

So tonight we brought him out for ice cream. He wanted “Superman” ice cream, because it had lots of fun colors. And that’s what he has brought into my life – colors that are brilliant and sparkly and light up my life.

I love you, Cole. Here’s what you looked like yesterday, with your best friends at your Birthday Party:


And here’s what you looked like on the last day that you were 4. Happy Birthday, Buddy.

2 Responses to “Tomorrow.”

  1. Suellen says:

    Hi Kristen!! Wonderful pictures of Cole! I can’t believe how grown up he is looking. Please give him a great big hug from Miss Suellen, and tell him I said Happy Birthday!!

  2. Kristen, He is so very precious! Love the ice cream! You have just given me a great idea to keep my 3 year old still so I can snap some images of him! Aren’t our own children our toughest subjects? Beautiful work, as always! :)

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